| JUNK!! |
| JUNK!! I'm not sure how it started My tendency to collect Everything from everywhere But I simply can't accept The theory held by some folks That what I bring home is junk Just because I have a knack For filling up the trunk! I wish they'd all stop fussing For I've made it very clear That though the shelves are crowded And our closets crammed to here I simply can't pass up a bargain Or one single thing marked "SALE!" Just a whisper of a discount And I'm hot on the trail! Who could let a chance go by To hit the stores and shop? Not me----because my motto is To do it till I drop!! Who cares if I already have Six different sets of coasters? Someday, I'll need a shower gift And I might run out of toasters! And while it may be true, I guess That two cookie jars are plenty My collection, at last count Numbered more than twenty! It doesn't matter if I need it Or have a nicer one at home; No family should ever be without Three extra cordless phones!! And look here!! Front porch furniture! At a price slashed to the ground!! We have no porch, but what the heck I cannot turn it down!! So I'll just store these wicker chairs In the garage behind the pool That I bought last year at clearance For with me it is a rule!! Even if I'm not quite sure That an item's what we need? I'm going to buy it anyway.... That much is guaranteed For I sleep better knowing That I'll never be caught without! Whatever's lacking.....I have one Somewhere, there's no doubt!! |
It drives my husband crazy He thinks my "great finds" are trash!! Men just ignore all discounts... And they never do the math!! Besides, he should be grateful How many men can say That they received three lawn mowers In one single Father's Day? And it was just a lucky break That Home Depot marked them down The same day I was there instead Of somewhere else in town!! Now he has a favorite mower And one to loan to friends Plus a spare in case one breaks My foresight has no end!!! My son thinks I will never die Cause Heaven's not equipped To handle chronic shoppers; They've no coupons to be clipped! I told him, "Very funny But just you wait and see... I'll get there first and when I do I'll organize a shopping spree!! Why I'll have angels loading packages And stacking them on clouds... As with my list in one hand, I check things off out loud! Now that's MY idea of Heaven! An eternity just to shop! I won't run out of room or money So I'll never have to stop!!" Dusty Richardson c 1987 |
| GOT A COMMENT? VIEW OR SIGN THE GUESTBOOK! GO TO NEXT POEM RETURN TO PREVIOUS POEM RETURN TO TITLES PAGE RETURN TO SITEMAP RETURN TO FRONT PORCH |
